Posted on: November 10, 2009 9:48 pm
Edited on: November 10, 2009 9:51 pm
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Trade #87 Whil You Still Can!

I loved Sidney Crosby. I really did. When I saw him in his rookie season-breaking the record for youngest player to reach 100 points. But after 3 100 point seasons in 4 years...which is great. After that, and this the 5th year. I'd like a trade. I know I'll probably get hammered for this but....Evgeni Malkin and 2 All-Star wingers are more than enough fair market value. Dany Heatley and Marian Hossa for #87. I'll take it!. Sure a trade like that is hard to ink and even harder to actually pull off. Evgeni Malkin is a Monster who uses his size oh so well. Something Sid just can't. Go to Youtube and search Evgeni Malkin Highlight Video and you will be treated to a jaw-dropping array of plays that he single-handedly produced! My God. What a talent. Who needs a supporting cast. Now The Next One. But since Evgeni Malkin proved he can carry the Pittsburgh Penguins on his back when Sidney Crosby is out. All the Penguins need is a great pure-goal scorer winger and a Ron Francis-ish #2 center.
Posted on: October 30, 2009 11:36 pm
Edited on: October 30, 2009 11:43 pm
 

Mascon Down An Eerily Similar Path

Bluejackets goaltender Chris Mason has been nowhere near the form that won him the Calder Trophy. So far. And this could change. But so far, his career has been sort of similar to Montreal Canadiens' Carey Price. Price was Top Goalie and MVP at the World Juniors. Mason was Top Goalie and MVP at the World Juniors. Price won the AHL Championship. Mason won the Calder. Since then, Price has looked lost and out of his element Playing like an AHL All-Star rather than an NHL one. Mason has looked lost and out of his element. A high GAA on a defense first time is bad. No wonder Ken Hitchcock looks steamed half the time. How much longer will it be before fans start asking: Perhaps we should've kept Pascal Leclaire. Remember. Before his injury woes last year, he has a superb year. Leading the NHL in SO's and yet was snubbed at the All-Star Game.

Seeing just how many goalies come-and-go. Win the Calder, and fade away into oblivion. Jim Carey, Andrew Raycoft, and Blaine Lacher just to name a few. Okay, The Loch Ness Monster didn't win the Calder but he has a great rookie year who quickly became a fan favorate. But his fortunes quickly changed the following year when he couldn't stop a beach ball from crossing the line. And had the fans chanting "Let 'Em In" Lacher.

Perhaps management jumped the gun by letting Leclaire go. The Sophmore Slump hits all positions. But when it hits the Last Line Of Defense. It's placed under a far bigger microscope. And the spotlight highlights every error. Perhaps Bluejacket management should've kept both young goaltenders and have them push each other in order to achieve optium output and production. Knowing there's a kid waitin' in the wings who could spell you very easily will prevent a young ego and GAA from ballooning out of control.
Posted on: October 30, 2009 12:26 am
Edited on: October 30, 2009 12:35 am
 

Revive The Canada Cup

Ah the Good Old Days. The days when the late great John A. Ziegler, Jr  was commissoner of the NHL. When the divisons where named after noteable NHL pioneers and the conferences where named after royalty. The 80's and early 90's where arguable the NHL's Greatest Era. An era noted for high-scoring point totals and exciting hockey was assured each and every night. But then came The Dark Times. Then came The Empire. Ah...Bettman. Bettman. Gary Bettman as it reads on his birth certificate has been the bane of hockey and the NHL alike.

The ink on his contract had not dried before he made sweeping retarded changes in the game I love so much. Get rid of the unique division and conference names and remove the teams from the unique places where the NHL resided. Goodbye Minnesota. Goodbye Quebec City. Goodbye Winnipeg, The Praire City. Hello Arizona. Arizona? Dallas? Sunrise. Is this April Fool's Day. Nope. It's more like Groundhog Day with hockey fans reliving the same crappy day. This Clown Prince Of Stupidity must be overthrown. By a deserving soul. The reader probably qualifies as a supreme improvement!

The Canada Cup was a unique tournament. It included a virtual who's who of hockey. Wayne Gretsky. Mario Lemieux. Vladislav Tretiak. But Forest Gump Gary Bettman quickly changed the name to the World Cup Of Hockey. Earth to Bettman. Come in Bettman. We already have a World Cup. It's soccer nimrod. What an unholy spawn art thou.

It's called the Canada Cup. And it has a rich history. It's beautiful trophy rests in the Hockey Hall Of Fame. And it awaits a worthy successor to John A. Ziegler, Jr  Hopefully I will see that man or woman in my life time.

Posted on: October 14, 2009 10:09 pm
 

Crosby Trying To Be Something He's Not

Sidney Crosby, one the NHL's primier playmakers decided during the offseason that he would shoot more instead of doing what he does best-distribute the puck. The result? Disasterious. A paltry 5 points in 7 games. What? Stop listening to the critics. Stop listening to the naysayers that are puting Alexander Ovechkin on a plateau above you. Fact is part of the naysayers is true. Part. Ovechkin will always have more goals. Accept it. You'll sleep better. Good advice given by Charleton Heston in the original Planet Of The Apes. Accept it, you'll sleep better at night.

And what shame is there in being the front runner for top assist man year after year? None. Look at Jumbo Joe Thornton. He's accepted that he will make his mark in the NHL and ultimately...hopefully the Hockey Hall Of Fame in Toronto-by being a crisp passer. His 90 assist season put his in the same breath as Wayne Gretzky and Mario Lemieux.

So Sidney. Please. For the Pittsburgh Penguins' sake. For Lord Stanley's sake. Just do what you do best. Pile up 80-90 assist seasons with 35+ goal seasons. You will challenge Evgeni Malkin and Alexander Ovechkin for the Art Ross instead of averaging less than a poin-a-game.
Posted on: October 5, 2009 9:55 pm
Edited on: October 5, 2009 10:02 pm
 

Shero Could've Gotten More Free Agent Options

I love Pittsburgh Penguins GM Ray Shero's moves to win the Stanley Cup. But as far as the off-season and getting bargain deals. I'm afraid Shero's grade is a C-. Young talented though underachieving NHL veterans were there did he make a sweetheart deal offer to Ladislav Nagy or Mighty Mite Mike Comrie. I don't know about  you. But I can envision the Red Light flashing with frequent regularity having Comrie on Evgeni Malkin's wing. And having the oh-so-cute Hilary Duff in the Pittsburgh Penguins VIP box would've made delicious eye candy. Point is these two solid NHLers would've thrived on Sidney Crosby and/or Malkin's wing. Pascel Dupris is good defensively but he doesn't go Crosby or Malkin justice on the offensive side of the puck. Hate to say it. Me being a Philadelphia Flyers Hater, but Mike Richards would've made the perfect complement on Malkin's win. Good offensively and excellent defensively. Let's all hope that Ray Shero can find a few diamond in the roughs for the Penguins Twin-Headed Monster. For Lord Stanley's Sake.

P.S.

I miss likable Petr Sykora already...
Posted on: September 19, 2009 3:16 pm
Edited on: October 30, 2009 4:47 pm
 

Jeremy, How Many Fingers Do I Have Up?

     Seems like a simple question. Doesn't it. It has many meanings, however. One a wicked reference to his numerous concussions. God forgive me. And the other is a character flaw that is intentionally being pointed out. The rougher the means, perhaps the bigger the audience. 

     Recently, Jeremy Roenick announced his long-awaited retirement from a length, injury and episode filled career that included 500 goals and a plethora of oh so forgettable moments. The day he retired, naive fans quickly rushed to their computers and commented on how great a warrior he was. How he was tough and a great "leader"? But those fans seem only a silver lining within a storm-cloud filled day. Sure he was very good in his youth. However like The Great #88 Eric Lindros his zest for body contact and roughing it up caught up with him oh too quickly. After three 100 point seasons with the Chicago Blackhawks, his production fell off the proverbial map. Barely over/under a point a game which lead to a trade with the Phoenix Coyotes for fellow talented but underachieving Alexei Zhamnov. Despite playing with true classy superstar Keith Tkachuk (A Hall Of Famer who never put his foot in his mouth and never acted like a graduate of Clown College), he couldn't buy a point-a-game season. Then came the trade to Philly and the problems multiplied.

     The melodramatic hug with Philadelphia Flyers owner Ed Snider. With gratitude for 32  million guaranteed contract? Faking a concussion during the NHL Lockout so he could collect injury payments from the Flyers. And the famous comment that will abide in the Halls Of Studipum for eons to come. I am paraphrasing of course. You fans are just jealous. You can kiss my $ #### . And don't forget thrashing the hotel accommodations during a failed U.S. Olympic bid. What class. What a poster boy hero. I don't think so. I'll take "soft" Sidney Crosby over this jerk any day. And what's the reward for his non-role model behavior. The Dean Of Clown College himself NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman puts his in the foreground in the pathetic downgrade of the former Ron McLean-led NHL Awards Show. Unfortunately this pathetic clown and excuse for a human being will end up in the Hockey Hall Of Fame. Roggie Vachon is far more deserving and worthy a candidate.

Posted on: September 14, 2009 12:40 am
Edited on: September 18, 2009 5:49 pm
 

Theo Why Oh Why?

Theo Fleury a miniscule man was an offensive dynamo for the Calgary Flames. Despite being a shrimp, he was well over a point-a-game, who scored 100 point seasons and 40+ goal seasons. I marveled at how a small player was so elusive. So explosive. So on track for future enshirement. So much a Calgary Flame through and through. But then came The Trade. And despite a failed playoff outing with the Av's, the future and the Hockey Hall Of Fame seemed oh so certain. But then came that contract with the dreaded New York Rangers. The Nike commercial where he smiles and shows little teeth. And next thing you know. He's an alcholic. Should've stayed with the Calgary Flames my friend. You're famous game-winner goal where where slinding on the ice is legendary. Should've worked out an extention with the team in which you enjoyed a Stanley Cup as a rookie. Should've taken a page out of Jarome Iginla's book. What an awesome talent and a Hall Of Fame Inductee that was wasted. What a shame indeed.
Posted on: August 29, 2009 12:17 am
Edited on: September 19, 2009 3:20 pm
 

What If The NFL Tuck Rule Never Existed?

     I remember it as if it were last night. Frigid New England evening. Blinding snow. The ball is snapped. Brady goes back. The defense swarms. He partially waves his band. Then gets shalacked from behind. Charles Woodson forces a Fumble! The Raiders recover. I pour a glass of water over my head in celebration. But wait. A weasel referee is signaling something. He convers with the other officials. As water drips down my face, my exicted look decipates. I begin to smell a rat disguised in a zebra costume. He adjusts his audio unit and rules the play as an incomplete pass. Pass? Pass? What pass? Even Jimmy Hoffa could see that it was a fumble. Needless to say the Patriots went on to kick a field goal and claim victory. They edged the Steelers in the conference final & just managed to shock the "prime for the taking" St. Louis Rams.

     It begs one to question. What if the Tuck Rule never existed? What would be different? What would be the same? What would really change? Intriguing? Is it not? Let me dust off an ancient orb entrusted to me by legendary Oracle Of Delphi & reveal to you what I see...

     Charles Woodson hammers Brady and forces a fumble. The Silver & Black recover. Charlie Garner's rushing gets them into field goal position. The kick is off. It drifts slowly, silently through the thick vail of snowflakes and through the up rights. Raider Nation rejoice. Despite being out of their element, the Raiders are victorious and celebrate while a statuesque Bill Belichick simply gaps. The AFC Championship Game is a seesaw affair with both teams trading touchdown. With the game tied, Rich Gannon throws a bomb to Tim Brown who just manages to get his feet in bound. Rod Woodson intecepts Kordell Stewart's last ditch Hail Mary attempt. The victory is sealed.

    Relax Steeler Fans, relax. Soon you shall receive a Real Quarterback. One named after the famous clock in downtown London. One who will lead you to a Super Bowl in his rookie season. But for now. Sit back and watch as history unfolds before us.

    The St. Louis Rams had a great team. They had a dominant season, often victory was assured by the start of the fourth quarter. Yet the coaching staff never thought it wise to pull Kurt Warner and have him rest. Instead they allowed him to remain in the game and pad his stats. Unfortunatly in the process of doing so took several punishing and unnecessary hits. Kurt Warner was worn down MVP just ready to fail. They were an overconfident team which about to lose. Rich Gannon has a field day, shredding the Rams secondary. While Warner is dazed & confused after a few hard hits from Bill Romanowski.

   Tim Brown is named MVP while the Oakland Raiders are crowned champions.

   Motivated at the thought of reviving the Silver & Black Dynasty and fueled by the MVP performance of former Delaware Fightin' Blue Hen Rich Gannon,the Raiders go on to defeat Jon Gruden's Tampa Bay Buccaneers the following year before giving way to New England Patriots. Tom Brady goes on to be a great quarterback and win two Super Bowls instead of three. But alas there is a price for his first failure. Tom Brady never gets his coveted Stetson endorsement and jawdropping Victoria's Secret supermodel Gisele has another beau. Indeed a stiff price to pay for the absence of the obscure and seldom used Tuck Rule.

 
 
 
 
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